September 14th

Dear Mom,

                   Today was the first day in a long time where I didn't cry when I was on the bus going to work. I thought of you. I thought of my anxiety at work and how I would love to just tell you everything, even if you didn't really understand. I miss how you would just listen, nodding along to make me feel like you really got what I was saying, even though you didn't.
   I didn't get suspended at work, and I think its because I found that they really need me at work. They really appreciate me and the hard work I do, so I can't complain about what I do. I wore a dress and my best lipstick to work, made a statement and got the job done; the main goal.
   I say this every time, but I miss you. I don't think I will ever really stop missing you. The hole you left, the space that was created when you left is vast and dark and cold... I feel like a part of me is empty. I try to fill it with distractions, but it never really works.
   I hope wherever you are, whether you're watching, hanging around, what have you... I hope you're proud of me.